Just another Manic Monday

Monday mornings are simply painful at our house.  I think it is because we are so LAZY on Saturdays and Sundays.  And then Monday morning crashes in.  Lana and Theo both go to pre-school on Monday mornings so there's a lot of running and dashing around to get dressed.  I wish I always had their bags pre-packed the night before but usually not.  The twins wake up at 7am and want to have something to eat and lately are crawling all over the place.  Generally Monday morning is chaos.

For example.

Theo comes down stairs and strips off his diaper.  He's potty training. Himself.  No I'm serious.  I really would rather he keep the diaper on his rump but off it comes. And then he's running around screaming.

I'M NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

He usually likes to run a full circuit of the first floor.  He goes around the furniture in the living room then careens through the foyer and into the dining room then into the kitchen, then into the pantry.  The entire time, he very loudly exclaims his bare-bottom-ness.

Lana comes down stairs next (usually).  Lana is a bit like me.  Well a bit like me BEFORE I had children that catapult me out of bed.  She would rather not be bothered for 10 or 15 minutes when she wakes up.  So usually she tries to wake up and then hangs out in her room until she's ready to face all of us.  On days that she doesn't do this...

Lana: Theo STOP screaming! Are you CRAZY! I'm SERIOUS.  BE QUIET!!!

Cue Theo to run by screaming his head off.  Oh! He has to PEE!!!

Theo: I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Lana: Theo! Shut your MOUTH!

Theo:  I need the POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTY!!!!!!!!

Me -- Eyes still closed, shuffling to the kitchen and to go make coffee espresso.

Theo: I MADE A PEEE PEEEE!!!!!  I GET AN M&M!!!!!

Oh did I mention that Theo likes to drip like 5 drops of pee in the potty?  Since he figured out that he gets ONE M&M for peeing he likes to maximize his profit.    He then "goes peepee" like 20 times in the space of 10 minutes. My little economist.

Lana: Can I have an M&M too?  I was helping him to get the potty!?  I opened the bathroom door.

Me: unhg? 

Theo&Lana: Make a pee pee! M&M!!!

Now all the racket has woken the twins who add to the noise level.

Zeke: "RAh! Rah! Rah!"

Amani: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMoooommmmmmmmmyyyyy!?

Dear God what TIME is it?

6:50am

I want my coffee. Pout.